I have been practicing that kind of active surrender; being aware of what is going on in my body, curious about why I want to run away, and kind to myself when I choose not to stay.
Amazing Ben. That's the practice. There's no way out other than through. And there's no free pass out of the "pain" or discomfort. It's really just a lifelong practice of showing up for ourselves in and through it all with the most love and compassion possible. Paying attention to what we're learning and eventually not picking up the old and tired stories that punish us.
It seems hard to plan for the kind of opportunities that being unmade involves. Is it more a case of posture and preparation of how we meet those things when they come.
Hey Ben. Thanks for engaging with my work and for asking such a thoughtful question. What I’ve learned is that a great deal of this journey involves growing my ability to be in the discomfort of vulnerability (uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure). This requires learning to navigate the uncertainty and be open to the opportunities and invitations that will come when you’re open to being unmade. Because those opportunities don’t often present themselves in comfortable packages 😊
For me, the “posture and preparation” you describe has been learning to feel (not just think through) emotions, applying immense amounts of compassion, learning to show up for myself when things are hard so that I am loving myself and building resilience as I’m being unmade, and constantly learning to let go (again and again) of my desire to know the way and all the steps (which is a form of control and a false sense of security).
What I’m saying is, you can’t really plan and prepare other than to be committed to practicing being in the discomfort in a loving way. Having consciousness and awareness when you’re in the midst of a challenge that is shaping you, and actually using the tools I’ve written about as you’re going through the fire of being unmade.
It’s challenging because it’s easy to brace yourself for the resistance and pain that comes with the journey. To avoid even stepping in to the next invitation that’s presenting itself. But what happens over time is a breaking open (rather than a breaking down). A strength that brings the softness of acceptance. And an increase in self-love and confidence that carries you when you least expect it.
I have been practicing that kind of active surrender; being aware of what is going on in my body, curious about why I want to run away, and kind to myself when I choose not to stay.
Amazing Ben. That's the practice. There's no way out other than through. And there's no free pass out of the "pain" or discomfort. It's really just a lifelong practice of showing up for ourselves in and through it all with the most love and compassion possible. Paying attention to what we're learning and eventually not picking up the old and tired stories that punish us.
It’s encouraging for me to know that other people out there are also doing the work and might even be a few steps ahead.
It seems hard to plan for the kind of opportunities that being unmade involves. Is it more a case of posture and preparation of how we meet those things when they come.
Hey Ben. Thanks for engaging with my work and for asking such a thoughtful question. What I’ve learned is that a great deal of this journey involves growing my ability to be in the discomfort of vulnerability (uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure). This requires learning to navigate the uncertainty and be open to the opportunities and invitations that will come when you’re open to being unmade. Because those opportunities don’t often present themselves in comfortable packages 😊
For me, the “posture and preparation” you describe has been learning to feel (not just think through) emotions, applying immense amounts of compassion, learning to show up for myself when things are hard so that I am loving myself and building resilience as I’m being unmade, and constantly learning to let go (again and again) of my desire to know the way and all the steps (which is a form of control and a false sense of security).
What I’m saying is, you can’t really plan and prepare other than to be committed to practicing being in the discomfort in a loving way. Having consciousness and awareness when you’re in the midst of a challenge that is shaping you, and actually using the tools I’ve written about as you’re going through the fire of being unmade.
It’s challenging because it’s easy to brace yourself for the resistance and pain that comes with the journey. To avoid even stepping in to the next invitation that’s presenting itself. But what happens over time is a breaking open (rather than a breaking down). A strength that brings the softness of acceptance. And an increase in self-love and confidence that carries you when you least expect it.
I hope that helps ❤️