How to handle the hard stuff
Join me on September 10 + 11 and learn how to be a more resilient leader and human.
Join me on September 10+11 in Fort Collins, Colorado for a two-day, in-person leadership training that will change the way you lead and live your life. This experience is based on Brené Brown’s work and my experiences supporting leaders, teams, and organizations all over the world. Space is limited. You will find more details, testimonials, and can REGISTER HERE. If the cost is a barrier, please reach out. I am more than happy to have a conversation. I hope to see you there.
Last week I spent the day with more than 40 leaders. All special education administrators and educators from across Colorado.
As so many of us who serve others in our work, these leaders are tired. They have been holding the weight of their work. The impact from lack of funding and resourcing. The fatigue from fighting policies that aren't centered around our kids. The hurt from holding space for parents who are also tired and scared and don't have the support they need.
These challenges parallel many of the things we are all facing in the world, in our work, and in our lives right now. Of all the beautiful conversations we had in the room, this is what I would highlight from our time together:
Even in the most challenging conditions, we always have a choice.
We will always face constraints and conditions that are less than ideal. Rather than fighting against what's happening — which hemorrhages our energy, our joy, and often puts us in a hopeless and powerless position where we shut down, avoid, or move to contempt — we can change our relationship with the conditions.
This requires us to be clear about who we are and what we value so we can move from our grounded center. This requires us to be clear about the stories we tell ourselves that keep us trapped in being right rather than being curious. This requires us to learn practices for resilience so we are getting the support we need from ourselves, especially when we are engaging with others who are not yet moving through the world with a strong back and open heart.
It takes a lot of courage to do this work. But it's also what reduces the weight and the pain we often carry because we care so deeply about our work and serving others.
Don’t care less. Care more about yourself.
It's a normal human response to want to care less when we're giving so much and we're not feeling seen, heard, or valued. But caring less is a strategy that disconnects us from ourselves and makes it harder to access the love and compassion we need for ourselves and others.
Rather than caring less, put more care into meeting your needs and prioritizing your health and wellbeing. Be unapologetic in taking care of yourself so you can access the wisdom and energy required to serve others.
And especially when we are lacking external resources that make our work harder, it's our responsibility to double down on resourcing ourselves.
Don't care less. Feel deeply. Learn how to feel and process your own emotions, fears, and feelings. This will reduce the weight, the anxiety, and the heaviness that is often part of the good work we do.
Work we cannot do alone
Many years ago a mentor told me:
This is work only we can do. But it’s work that we cannot do alone.
If you want to learn how to handle the hard stuff:
How to change your relationship with things you don’t control.
How to be confident, clear, and brave when you’re struggling to connect with others.
How to show up calm and peaceful under constant pressure.
How to enjoy your work and do it with less energy and effort.
How to live in alignment with who you are.
And so much more, join me in September.